Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Mystery of the Disappearing Bench

MISSING: 
Red House Garden Bench


It stands about 3 feet high, is made out of Tennessee sandstone blocks, and weighs approximately eleventy gazillion pounds.


It was last seen in the backyard last fall.


Sometime in the last few months it has gone missing.


Search parties have been sent out, combing the backyard and nearby areas for the vanished bench, but to no avail.


Here at the Red House Garden we are following every possible lead, determined to track down how this bench disappeared and what malevolent forces could have carried out such a deed.  Garden authorities are currently in the process of rounding up and questioning the usual suspects.

photo source - Wikipedia
If anyone has any information pertaining to the whereabouts of this garden bench or would like to report possible suspicious Garden Gnome behavior in connection to this case (or in general), please contact your local garden authorities.

We certainly hope that this garden bench will be found in time for the spring gardening.  

28 comments:

  1. I'm guessing that it will magically find its way back into the garden once spring arrives.

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    1. The garden authorities here are pretty confident that that will occur as well ;)

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  2. Crud, that comment showed up so I guess I'll have to re-write. I don't think the garden gnomes did it. There aren't enough of them to lift eleventy gazillion pounds of Tennessee sandstone. I'm thinking the bench is shivering and hiding under the snow. Be careful when you trudge through the snow. You don't want to break your toe on it.

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    1. I think it might be a whole leg rather than just a toe - it's a pretty hefty bench! Thankfully I don't go out and flounder through the snow too often - I'm still getting used to this cold weather!

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  3. Trust me....it'll be those darned pesky squirrels!

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    1. I would have totally thought it was the squirrels except that they don't go out much during the winter. Of course, maybe that is because they are holed up in their nests plotting...

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  4. I love benches made of natural materials.

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    1. Thank you! We got it from a stone quarry place. We saw it and fell in love with the stone!

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  5. Hehe. Yes, I do believe that garden bench is warm and cozy under a white blanket along with your garden plants. I do hope you find it soon! ;-)

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    1. I certainly hope I find it (and all my trusty perennials) sometime soon, too! This has been a long winter!

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  6. Love, love the bench! I was horrified that someone would have stolen it, but now I am convinced it's all a cover-up.

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    1. Ha, good one! I'm, too, am pretty sure that a cover-up is what we are looking at here..

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  7. At least it still sits under the snow, my NWF sign grew legs this winter. Always a problem living in a city. Your neighborhood looks like one where things like this don't happen.

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    1. Oh, no! That's too bad. Thankfully it is pretty quiet where we are. Though I would be rather impressed if someone stole that bench - they'd have to drag quite the hefty load through the woods to make off with it!

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  8. The bench is hibernating of course! We should all be sensible enough and do the same until the weather is warm enough :-)

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    1. I agree! That is pretty much what I've been doing, though it gets a little stir-crazy around here sometimes!

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  9. Lol, I hope detectives solve this case quickly:) I would accuse one of my gnomes who disappeared over the winter of helping in this crime, but a brief thaw last week revealed he had been hiding under the arbor bench here all along. Who knows what else I might find when all this snow melts (more here today!). That's a beautiful bench, by the way!

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    1. Thank you! Who knows what else is under all that snow... though it's nice to finally see a little bit of the garden peeking out after a little warm spell!

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  10. Indie - hmmmmmm……there seems to be a suspicious "lump" in the backyard. Check with those tough-as-nails Gnomes…they look pretty sketchy but they may know something!

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    1. There are a lot of suspicious 'lumps' in the garden lately.. I wonder what else those gnomes are hiding from me?

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  11. Lovely, greeting from Belgium.

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    1. So great to get a reader all the way from Belgium! Welcome!

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  12. OH, that is not nice! Those garden gnomes are such clever, sneaky fellows, and apparently very, very strong. I think they must have perpetrated some of their felonious deeds here, too. The bottom half of Castle Aaargh is clearly missing and hey, that's not fair. It was the only part that was done!

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    1. Oh that is a dastardly deed, making off with half a castle! Wily gnomes!

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  13. I am still laughing! Instead of bemoaning the disappearance of my benches, shrubs, and even the pond, I wish I had thought up such a hilarious post. P. x

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    1. :) Glad you liked! Sometimes the only thing to do is find the humor in the situation!

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  14. I bet there are a few gnomes and fairies who know.....I have a few things that have disappeared here as well. ;)

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