Victory is Mine! (For the Time Being)

For the last few weeks, the weather has been warming up, the snow has been melting, and Spring has slowly been making herself felt.  Animals have become more active, waking up after a long winter...

...including my old enemy,

The Squirrel.

I'm baaaaack!

Every morning for the last couple of weeks when I looked out the window, the sight that greeted me was always of a squirrel hanging off the bird feeder, stuffing itself with as many sunflower seeds as it could get its little greedy paws on.  After this long winter, I took pity on my adversary for awhile.  But after it had gone through more bird seed than a whole flock of birds, enough was enough!  It was time to end the gluttony.

So yesterday evening I moved a few things around in the backyard and was delighted to finally see a different sight when I looked out the window this morning:

What the...?!
*&@#%!!

The squirrel baffle was up, and the feeder was no longer close to anything within jumping distance. That squirrel just sat there for several long minutes, sitting back on its haunches and staring up at the bird feeder in disbelief.

After it finally got over its shock, the squirrel sprung into action.  It tried its best to get past the squirrel baffle, but with no luck.

It started to get frantic, running up the greenhouse and every tree within a ten yard radius, trying to figure out if there was anyway to reach the beloved treasure trove of sunflower seeds.  Nothing worked.

Spicy suet!  I don't want this!

The squirrel could climb the nearby pole to the suet feeder, which was full of spicy suet that squirrels hate, but it still couldn't get to the desired sunflower seed bird feeder.

Victory was mine.

MUWAHAHA!

I don't know if I should celebrate too loudly, though.  As I was taking pictures of my enemy's failure in order to mock it on the internet, the squirrel turned and gave me this look.

I'm just a little bit afraid.

MI Squirrels - Boston Division

Boston Division's MI Squirrel Team Leader's Report:

When Mrs. Red House moved in to this sector, we received the full report from the MI Squirrel Division down near Raleigh, NC.  After reading their report, I thought our mission of breaking into her bird feeder would be one of the hardest challenges of my career.

Now I find that thought laughable.

We have found Mrs. Red House's supposed 'baffles' to be completely un-baffling.  I only regret that my entire team is putting on too much weight.  Thanks to Mrs. Red House, all of us squirrels are getting entirely too fat.

What can I say?  Either my team is just that well trained

...or that team down in North Carolina are all idiots.

MI Squirrel Division of Raleigh  vs.  MI Squirrel Division of Boston

I'm looking forward to a nice, quiet holiday season....

oh, wait, what is this?  Another report?

You've intercepted Mrs. Red House's letter to Santa? 

And she asked for WHAT for Christmas??!

You may acquire your very own Squirrel Practice Targets from various Etsy stores!

Houston, we may have a problem.  

Calling all team members, get down off those bird feeders!

Time to whip you back into running shape, STAT!

Aww, man!

To see past mission reports, click on the topic Mission Impossible: Squirrel Division.

Why My Birds are Hungry

You turned my bird feeder upside down and are shaking out the birdseed?!

Ha, I've caught you this time!

Oh, don't give me that story about being framed!

FOOD EMERGENCY!!!

CALAMITY HAS BEFALLEN THE AREA.  THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH NUTS AND SEEDS!  ANIMALS ARE SLOWLY STARVING TO DEATH.  SEE THIS PHOTO:

THIS POOR, BRAVE, YET STILL HANDSOME SQUIRREL CAN BARELY EVEN CRAWL.  HE NEEDS FOOD!

PLEASE SEND AS MANY NUTS AND SEEDS AS YOU CAN FIND TO:

RED HOUSE GARDEN

RALEIGH, NC

HURRY, BEFORE THESE ANIMALS STARVE TO DEATH!

PS.  THIS IS MRS. RED HOUSE TYPING, NOT A SQUIRREL
PPS. WE, UH, I MEAN, THE ANIMALS PREFER PEANUTS AND ALREADY SHELLED SUNFLOWER SEEDS

.

.

.

Hey, we got a weird message from Squirrel Headquarters - have any of you squirrels been sending the humans messages asking for nuts?

Uhh, noooo, it must have been Mrs. Red House!

Mrs. Red House is on vacation this weekend.

Uhhh... it was probably the birds, yeah, the birds..

look innocent, look innocent, look innocent...

MI: Squirrel Division does Garden Bloggers' Bloom Day

Mission Impossible: Squirrel Division
Mission Log #4

Sigh... I'm so bored.
It's been so hot that I haven't even had enough energy to make it past the baffle
on the bird feeder!  And there's been no new missions in days..

Hey!  A mission just came in from Headquarters!  

What?!  Finally!  It's about time we had some action around here.  What's the mission?

Well, this one's rather odd..  

Apparently we are supposed to find some blooms here at the 

Red House Garden for something called 

Garden Bloggers' Bloom Day.

Some blooms?!  Don't they know that we've had record high heat here, 

and that the garden has besieged by the serial killer Vole and his family?  

Hey, at least Headquarters didn't ask us to tackle those guys!

Come on, there's got to be something blooming around here, right?  

We'll find some blooms if they're out there - they don't call us

Mission Impossible: Squirrel Division for nothing, do they?

Aha!  Found some!

Wild Potato Vine

Um.. You found some weeds.  Surrounded by more weeds.

But they're BLOOMING weeds aren't they?  

Maybe if Mrs. Red House hadn't weeded the other parts of the garden, 

she'd have more blooms! 

I'm still pretty sure that that wasn't what Headquarters had in mind.. 

Let's keep looking!

White flowering Sedum

Aw, here's some cute tiny little flowers!  Just my size, too! 

That would make a great bouquet for a squirrel..

We're not here to pick the flowers!  

See if you can find some larger blooms, ones that the humans will actually notice!

Fine!  I will!

Cosmos sulphureus

Coreopsis tinctoria

Dahlia 'Kelvin Floodlight'

Jackpot!  Look at all these flowers in the front yard!

And you thought we wouldn't be able to find any!

Me?!  I distinctly remember that it was you who had the doubts!

I don't know what you are talking about.  

Look, there's some more!

Rudbeckia hirta 'Irish Eyes'

Abelia x grandiflora 'Little Richard'

Clematis 'Gazelle'

Wow, there are even some new flowers that I don't remember seeing here at the Red House Garden before!

Butterfly Weed, grown from seed this year

Cardinal Flower - we've seen more hummingbirds in the area since these started flowering

Mission accomplished!  Blooms have been found!

Now on to a little snack...

But doesn't anything bother you about this mission?

Mmmphhh?  (mouth full)

It's just that this seemed to be a mission to help Mrs. Red House.

But she's the enemy - the lady who uses the baffles on the 
bird feeders against us!

What, like she's some sort of secret agent?  And she's 

infiltrated our message system and is using it to make us help her?

Naaa... that doesn't sound like Mrs. Red House...

I don't know...  Looks can be deceiving.

We might have to keep an eye on this Mrs. Red House..

The Mission Impossible Squirrels get a New Team Member

(For the introductory post on the Mission Impossible Squirrels, click here.)

(For the post in which the Squirrels decided they needed a new team member, click here.)

Mission Impossible: Squirrel Division

Location: Red House Garden

Mission: to reach the bird feeder with the best bird seed and procure as many seeds as possible 

 

Man, I hate having to pick through the leftover bird seed on the ground!

  I've tried and tried, but still can't seem to get past that baffle!

Well, at least it's better than acorns.  

And Headquarters is supposed to be sending that new team member any day now.  Maybe the new guy will have better luck!

Ethan Hawk, Squirrel Division, at your service!  Headquarters sent me to help finish the mission.  I hear you've been having problems?

Woah, Ethan Hawk?!
I've heard stories, rumors mostly... 

Is it true you got your name from escaping the clutches of a hawk by jumping onto its back and riding it to a sunflower seed farm on your very first mission??

That's classified, kid.  But I'm not saying no..

So what's this problem you guys have been having over at this Red House garden?

Squirrel baffle, deflector disk model. 

Ah, these ones are tricky.  But not impossible.  Give me a couple minutes to think about this.

Okay, got it.  I think what this baffle needs is a running leap.  Get a good running start, run up the pole, and then leap as high as you can, trusting that the bird feeder is somewhere up there.

But you'll be leaping blind!

Sometimes a squirrel's gotta do what a squirrel's gotta do.  No guts, no nuts!

Here I go.

Get a running start...

Here comes the leap..

 

Caught it!

Uh-oh, it's turning...

Holding on for the ride...

And pulling myself up!

And that, my friends, is a mission accomplished!

Here, I'll tip the feeder down for you so you can come and get some seeds.

Oh thanks, Mr. Hawk!  

Can you stay here at the Red House garden for awhile?

There are so many seeds!

Maybe for awhile - until duty calls and I'm needed for the next

Mission Impossible..

Squirrel Division: Bird Feeder Attempt #547

Mission Impossible:  Squirrel Division

(click here for part 1)

Attempt #547

Please, please, please let me get up to the bird feeder this time!  I think I can, I think I can...

Oh man, this is slippery!  Don't turn on me, don't turn...

Well, at least we've been trained well on how to faaaall...

Aaargh, another failed attempt!  

Maybe it's finally time to give up?  Don't you think it's about time to contact the agency and report? 

Give up!  And abandon our mission?!  How could you ever think such a thing?  

We're supposed to be the Mission Impossible Squirrels!  

Besides, those seeds smell sooo sweet and delicious...

You're not going to cry again are you?

I might...  sigh..  

I hate eating the same old acorns day after day!

The other day I was so hungry for something else that I chewed into a plastic Easter egg that had been left out.   Mmmm.. I think the candy might have been made in one of those factories that also process peanuts..

Wow, I didn't realize things were getting that desperate!  We should really report.  Headquarters might have an idea of what to do.  We could see if there's any better climbers in the agency...

You really think they might have a better climber?  Well, if it means accomplishing our objective, I guess that might be our only option..  

Accomplish objective, my tail! You just want to eat some of those seeds!

Hey, can you blame me?

Let's focus on contacting headquarters and less on our stomachs.  We just have to set up a surveillance and wait for a time when Mrs. Red House leaves her computer out so we can make contact...

Hey, you're not sleeping on the job again are you?!  

Hmm?   Uh, wha.. what?  I'm awake, really..

Well, good, because Mrs. Red House left her computer out on the porch.  Now's our chance!  

What in the world are you doing?  Come on!

Uh, sorry, nervous grooming habit...

How in the world did you get into the agency?!

 My brother-in-law down in headquarters..

 Ah.. it all makes sense now..

Okay, I'm going up to the porch.  Here's the computer.  Keep a lookout for Mrs. Red House!  

Connecting with headquarters..

Send your best! This bird feeder over here at the Red House Garden is truly a mission impossible.

And boy, do we need another team member...